You're a beautiful boy, a sweet little kid--but I am a woman.

"Take it Easy (Love Nothing" is a great song to listen to when you're engaging in a strictly fucktacular relationship. I don't care if Conor Oberst is a whiny little bitch; I totally love and respect him as he is a lyrical genius.
But yeah. Two posts in one night, and it's a fucking Friday. I never have Friday nights off from work, so I'm not really sure of what goes on during them. I haven't really had any desire to call anyone or anything. I went and got my nails done and now I'm back on the couch, surfing the internet and doing nothing. That aforementioned phone call I was thinking about making to GOF isn't going to happen, because going back to having someone in my fucking room day after day is what made me crazy in the first place. (Thus one of the reasons for the break up with Matt.) Not to mention, I really don't want to ever be calling him. Though it's hard to tell if he genuinely likes me, which he swears he does, he definitely sucks at making plans. I'm not sure if he cancels on me because he found another, more accessible girl to bang, or if the excuses he gives me are legit. I really don't give a fuck either way to be honest, lmao.
Oh yeah. I guess I kind of forgot to recap on my spooktacular Halloween extravaganza. To make a long story short, GOF was following me around from the second he walked in the door. He just loved my torquoise eye makeup and my little black dress. haha. It was mostly men at the party, and they all seemed to like talking to me a lot. GOF wasn't pleased, and he was even less pleased at how every one of his discreet, "let's go have a cigarette and talk" lines was thwarted by lots of enthusiastic smokers who were eager to offer themselves as company. No one really knew at this point that we had hooked up before, and that we had been talking outside of the parties, and I really had no intentions of telling them, hah. I really don't need to be viewed as "Jimmy's girl" right now; I am an independent, single woman who wants nothing better than to live a carefree, reckless life for awhile before I actually have to grow up. But anyways, he ended up spending the night again, and things were good again, and in the morning things were GREAT...lmao, and we spent the day together running errands and laying in bed watching movies. Kind of fun, kind of weird. I need to not do that thing where I start hanging out with a guy, and before I know it, he's practically moved in. It's irritating as fuck to not be able to come home to your own house and watch shitty reality television all fucking night if that's your heart's desire. You get the boyfriend there and all he wants to do is bone and watch action movies. Yeah guys. That's fun for a day and then it gets old. He really enjoys telling me how different and "Chill" I am--how cool and collected I am, and what great tastes in music I have. Why is it that hunky guys with relatively decent personalites (even if lacking in other departments) only date the cliche Abercrombie girl who has the personality of a rock and even less invigorating conversational skills than one? I mean, I know "birds of a feather flock together" or whatever the fuck that corny saying is, but don't people want something more out of a relationship than the middle school game playing shit? I swear, I see more relationships between college students that make me want to laugh than is necessary. I wonder how they cannot see that what they have is not real, and is a waste of time? Fuck man. How awful for them.
I'm being pessimistic, and it's really unnecessary, haha. I bought all of those mood balancing vitamins; triple lecithin and St. John's Wart. I also got something that will help me sleep better, and vegetarian supplements. Hopefully getting my body and mind healthier will take some of the weight off of my shoulders and I'll be able to start getting shit done again. I haven't been doing anything that I need to do. I lag so much on everything from doing my laundry to taking my air conditioner out of my window to doing school work. I think the weed smoking adds a definant negative effect on my ability to function adequately, but I just like doing it too much, hah.
So, in other news. San Francisco in a couple of weeks! My best friend moved there a few months ago and this visit to her will be my first time ever in California. I cannot wait, though. I'm almost more excited to see her than to actually be in Cali. I've never been this long without seeing her and it's driving me a bit insane.
I'm pathetic. I need to do things. Like clean my room and the kitchen. Peace!